You’re Watching Anime Wrong

Any hobby you’re interested in, chances are, you’re doing it wrong. Playing a PC game and not using a mechanical keyboard? Go fuck yourself. Not listening to your favorite album on vinyl on a $10,000 turntable, and a 24k gold needle through $30,000 speakers? Go eat a dick. How dare you sully a hobby with your noobish ways.

When it comes to watching anime, there’s many ways you’re watching anime wrong, hell just go on pretty much any anime forum, and learn how wrong you are. There’s going to be a multitude of ways that you’re wrong, and be prepared to see pages and pages of debates over the “right” way to do things.

This is one of those situations where you’ll only see this type of ridiculous bitching online. Normally when you’re out and about in society, and you meet fellow fans of your hobby, you’ll meet people who don’t have time for this kind of frivolous shit. They’re just happy to enjoy watching anime, or whatever it is you’re into. The internet? That’s where you’ll run into those diehard fans whose entire life and persona revolve around this. Thanks to this, they have all the free time in the world to debate endlessly about shit nobody else cares about.

The most famous, is the whole dub vs sub argument. This is one of the most tired out arguments that’ll never die. Dub watching is considered the realm of casual trash, or people “too stupid to read subtitles”. It’s silly to think that this is an argument that’s still going on. With the advent of technology, you usually have the choice to watch it however you want. Think the English voices are shit? The Japanese version is still there to watch. Hell, when you buy the DVD or Bluray, unless it’s Japanese only, they’re always dual audio. This isn’t like the VHS days where that’s the only version you’re stuck with.

What makes this argument more ridiculous, is not the endless forum debates. What’s ridiculous is when people start bitchfits on Youtube videos. Go on any Funimation trailer, and see the countless posts of people bitching. It’s really crazy when you see people analyzing every single line in a 90 second trailer, and writing a critique on how every actor is garbage, and the lines aren’t being delivered correctly. Basically people are really just bitching that everyone doesn’t sound exactly the same or whatever. It’s also great when there’s some cases where people bitch that the English actor sounds too much like the Japanese actor. You’ll never please these people.

The best part is when they start crying about the voices not sounding appropriate for the age of that character, despite that there’s also times when the Japanese version is just as guilty, or even worse. Nothing is better than the Japanese voice sounding much older than the English voice, but the English one is too old for the character, and the Japanese is perfect. Go figure.

Then you have some situations where you wonder if the person complaining even watched the show. This comes into question when you have a situation where there’s an annoying character, and people are crying that the dub made the character annoying, did you watch the original? Better yet, is when there’s a monotone and emotionless character, and people piss and moan about how the character sounds “soooo lifeless”. Why does Yuki Nagato sound so robotic in English? She sounded so much more energetic in Japanese!

Dub vs sub is the more famous of the “you’re doing it wrong” debates. Once you start getting into lesser known shows, you get into the “fun stuff” when it comes to debates. One such debate is the professional sub vs fansub debate. You’d think this debate would really be about translation accuracy, but you’d be wrong. A good chunk of the debate, is people writing a drawn out explaination that it’s not an exact copy and paste of the specific fansub they saw first. You’ll see people trying to cloak it under the “I want accuracy” point, but at the same time will argue that the incorrectly translated line made a “bigger impact” or whatever bullshit reason they’ve concocted. You need to choose between wanting accuracy, or making a point. You can’t say one thing, and whine about another.

Once you leave the prosub vs fansub debate, you’ll get into the hilarous fansub wars between the different fansubbing groups. This is top notch stupidity. Part of these flamewars involve people who openly admit to not knowing Japanese, arguing over which is more accurate. Wrap your head around that shit. The best part of those, is that the worst people, are the ones who will boast that they took one semester of Japanese in college/high school, so that makes them the leading authority. You almost never see anyone who actually knows the language giving a shit about this stuff.

You’d think that was the end of the debates in the great fansub wars, but you’d be wrong. One of the best parts is when you see people crying about how X fansub group is shit, because they’re not using their preferred font. This isn’t an argument that a fansub group used a font color that makes it illegible, like how some weird indie foreign films have yellow font when the movie has a yellow/orange lens filters. No, they’re crying that the anime is subbed in Arial font instead of whatever fucking other font they think is superior.  These same dickheads will also cry a fucking river over how much they refuse to buy the DVD’s to an anime because of font. Fucking wow, we’ve gotten to this point in society.

Just when you thought that you’ve wrapped your head around being wrong with how you watched anime, you’re not even done yet. If you’re downloading episodes, you better make fucking sure you’re using the correct program. A lot of shows are released in MKV format, mostly due to it allowing multiple language/sub tracks, and hard-subbing apparently takes a tad bit more effort, or whatever other reasons why people release in MKV, who knows or cares. Anywho, default programs on Windows and Mac don’t support MKV, so most people use VLC because of how well known it is, and being free. Well god forbid you’re using VLC, because that’s chump shit. You better use MPC, or whatever program your anime forum is dick-riding for the week. Why? Because only the cool kids use that program. Other programs are better for better color hues because you’re too lazy to make correct screen adjustments on your monitor or TV, and that’s one less thing for you to feel superior over you’re doing it wrong, fuck you.

You’d think that in the world of choices, people would be happy that choices are available for everything. Though having more choices, also causes people to start being an asshole about why their preference is the true fucking way. Just know, that if someone has a chance to act like a dick over something, they sure as hell will do it.

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